Armchair General

May 8, 2010 by

So in the continued tradition of me writing for this blog, I am going to write about games on here that none of my writing cohorts really care much about. This game is: Civilization V and strategy gaming in general.


Like the Final Fantasy series, the Civilization series has had a defining impact on my lifelong gaming addiction.


The first strategy game I ever played was a SNES title which combined the building of an ancient town with trawling through a dungeon. You’d be building your town and via the story something would happen that would mean your character had to descend into a cave in order to defend said town against a threat. I was indifferent to the action parts; I loved the town building parts.


By the time I discovered Civilization 2 there was no turning back. After creating a civilization from horse drawn chariots to spaceships, jumping in pipes or collecting coins with a blue hedgehog wasn’t going to cut it for me. My eyes had been opened to a type of gaming that wasn’t based on an A to B storyline, or performing the same action repeatedly.


The Total War series further compounded upon this. Not only did Rome: Total War incorporate the building of one of the most renowned civilizations in existence, but it also included battles involving tens of thousands of troops all at your command.

In today’s attention deficit disorder gaming market, strategy games are continually marginalized. The PC is the perfect platform for them and it is here that Civilization 5 will end my social life in the 4th quarter of this year. Every time a new Civilization title is announced I get a warm sense of excitement in my nether regions. This recent offering looks beautiful and every day that goes by without new details is like torture to my soul. But alas, good things come to those who wait.


Bayonetta – Remix’s that dont mix

April 28, 2010 by

Bayonetta is one of those games that are good but cant really explain why its good. Anyone that has played Dynasty Warriors: Gundam will know what I mean.

I am not bad mouthing the game or what I am about to write, and from what I heard from thebrowngamer, its a top game. In the later stage of Bayonetta theres a very cool bike part mode where you ride the bike literally everywhere that doesnt have concrete walls.
However, theres a song being played in the background that I found to be blasphemy. It was a remix of the After Burner 2.  Its an ok remix I suppose. I have listen to about 15 different mixes including awesome fan mixes of afterburner and this is some where not at the top. Except it didnt make any sense to put that remix in the first place. If I hear the After Burner music I am expected to see something related to After Burner:

  • F-14 Tomcat:  I didnt see any F-14 planes doing any fly bys in the air or any planes for that matter in the sky
  • FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!:  Nope, not even some mad fly attendant telling me theres lock-on to the enemy

They took a total disregard to the After Burner music and just slapped it stupid over the face. Its like playing Sonic the Hedgehog and having the Mario bros theme in the background. However, in this provision if the stage had some elements of Mario like the question mark blocks or green pipes something to associate with Mario, then it ticks all the right boxes.
The only logical reason why PlatinumGames did this from my wild guess is to help promote After Burner Climax which in its own right is a short but cool game. Its an arcade game so dont expect it to be long but very entertaining.

If PlatinumGames wanted to say thanks to Sega and made some common sense, why didnt they just remix the music from Super Hang-on?  Its got a bike for one thing…

I need attention like a fat kid needs cake.

April 10, 2010 by

I recently took part in the recording of a brand new podcast called Wall Jump Radio. Please do check it out, it ways in at about an hour and 18 mins and it’s basically just a weekly show where a bunch of people talk about the week in gaming news. Some if it relevant, most of it….not.

If you’re one of those people who do everything via iTunes then you can pick up the podcast and SUBSCRIBE here:

Games that are awesome – But people still buy FIFA games over these games in the charts

April 5, 2010 by

Sadly, the below list will never gain its well deserved credit to its makers. The games simply dont as well as other countrys would have taken it. Perhaps a game cap on football games all together in the UK???

Any self gamer would at least try to rent these out before buying or look them up in the pre used games section.

In no order what so ever:

Astro Boy Omega Factor on GBA

Great visuals for the little handheld. The fan service is nice. I like the cameo characters appearances from astros universe. And the retro intro was a nod to the old school cartoon.

Gameplay is awesome. Yes,  it was hard later on but was worth the traumatic errors. This was soo much better then the PS2 release which came out near the same month. And for its seal of approval, it was developed by Treasure. I brought my copy from asda for £10 some years ago and even till this day, it was the best deal I ever got.

Castlevania Order Of Ecclesia on DS

Before the badness that was Castlevania 2: simons quest. I never touched another castlevania since all those years. It wasn’t to say that I avoid them all together. That was until I saw castlevania OOE. This game was just oozing to be played.

I am not a fan of the castlevania series but I certainly enjoyed this game and that’s saying a lot from some with no background or fanism of the series. If that is a word. The music is noteworthy. I will guarantee, you will bound to have a favourite soundtrack in there. If you don’t have a fav, clear the wax in your ear. In fact, check both ears out.

The game does get a bit tricky later on but stick it out you softy!

Megaman Battle Network Transmission on Gamecube

This game was so good, no one ever got it or understood it.

It had elements from the classic Megaman series like the classic 2d platform, the stupid jump he does whilst having one leg up. Not to mention, some remix music from the past Megaman games. It has some bad moments like any other Megaman game. It was really really easy but never the less, it was enjoyable.

Sonic Rush on DS

great follow up to where the GBA series left off. Remains the solid platform game that you all know. It does add some new moves but it doesn’t retract anything from the game. Top this up with pumping music and you got yourself an ace game.

Unfortunately the sequel, Sonic Rush adventure was badly cocked up. Replaying levels to gain stupid jewels? Crap map navigation? If you look up who co developed the game, the evidence soon starts to stack up. It was none other then Sonic team.

Just shows you how bad Sonic team are compared to a another company who didn’t have Sonic as there main game.

I am sure there was a bigger pile of games then this lot? Oh well. Until next time.

New Megaman 11 character confirmed and more info!

April 1, 2010 by

I have recently emailed Keiji inafune about the direction of the current Megaman series. I told him about all the Megaman games are the same!

He read my article back here:

Inafune later responded. He got back to me saying:

“I like your forward thinking. In fact, I will change the series for fans like so you wont feel ashamed on buying another Megaman game.

I will add a new character in the next Megaman 11 game. Will it be Protoman or Bass? I think not. Those characters are so over used these days. I was quite inspired by Bill Cosby. His forward thinking is what needed in times like these. Cosby was such as an excellent choice I have not only made him my right hand man, I will also put him as a first selectable character and making Megaman, a side character.

Cosby quotes are so iconic it makes Megaman sound quiet. Who cant remember such rememberable quotes such as: Zippy a dee bo?”

I also manage to ask him a second question, which was: What is your current favourite game. He replied to the email:

“One of my favourite inspirational games is currently shadow the hedgehog. The games mechanics is soo vast from any Megaman game that I played. The camera angles are perfect that it never strays from being annoying like that plumber guy on the Nintendo 64. The music is rocking. I even brought the OST. My car CD changer is always on Shadow the Hedgehog. My favourite song from the CD is: All hail Shadow. And the gameplay is just literally, out of this world. I cant find a single flaw in that game. That’s how perfect it is.

I think if all people played Shadow the Hedgehog, the world will be a better place.”

He then added later:

“Your such a hardcore gamer to buy from Capcom Europe and found later that they got rid of the Voices of Megaman ZX Advent, and not releasing the Megaman X collection and to not only add insult to injury, Capcom europe’s FAQ clearly stated that they will not release the Megaman collection. I will happily enclose a “very early” release photo of the up and coming Megaman 11 that no one has ever seen before. Sorry if the image looks a bit rough but its early days. I give you a hint to who that image is…………. Its not protoman.”

Thanks for your time Keiji and we will all look forward to Megaman 11 and we will all go support for a sequel for Shadow the Hedgehog.

Why Bayonetta is way more Badarse then Kratos.

March 28, 2010 by

First things first. Yeah I said BadARSE. Why? Cos I’m fucking British that’s why.

Right back to the subject at hand. So God of War 3 has landed to much praise and excitement, and has probably cemented itself as a classic title.

Or is it? Sure all the hacking and slashing and fucking bosses the size of buildings is amazing and what not, but is the main character as amazing?

The short answer is, no. The slightly longer answer is, fuck no. You see earlier in the year Bayonetta was released. A game that blew a lot of minds because of how fucking amazing it was. It ticked all the boxes. Awesome graphics, Amazing gameplay, Astonishing soundtrack and an Arseiful (did you see what I did there? I combined the word “Arse” cos she has a nice arse and “Beautiful”) main character.

God of War has Kratos, whose Bald, Boring, Bulky.

Bayonetta has a better range of attacks/weapons then Kratos.

She has the ability to strap guns/shotguns/rocket launchers to her fucking feet. Kratos has two fucking keys on  long key chains that he flings around the place like a child hyper on coke (powder or liquid). Sure he rips people in half and baths in there blood like some sort of sick vampire wannabe fucking goth, but Bayonetta has hair that turns into fucking demons and shit!

Bayonetta looks hot!

Her clothes are made of her hair and no she’s not part Indian, when she summons demons from her hair, she gets naked! BEST! Kratos on the other hand looks like some sort of confused cross dressing emo. Look how fucking pale he is for fuck sakes! Always whinging and whining about some sort of shit that’s not really important, all whilst trying to look manly in a skirt of all things.

Bayonetta has better chat!


“I will, how do the Americans put it? oh yes, ‘Bust a cap in yo ass.’
“I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town”
“Come now chesire, look at me, do i look like i have any interest in children? well, making them, that’s another story.”
“There are two things I can’t tolerate. Crying babies and cockroaches…Though I suppose a crying baby cockroach would be truly terrible.”
“Don’t fuck with a witch.”


“By the gods, what have I become?”
“The monster you created has returned… to kill you!”
“God of war. I haven’t forgotten you. For what you did that night, this city will be your grave…”
“Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence, I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It`s haunting how I can’t seem…
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence, I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal

Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
(There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface)
Consuming, confusing what is real
(This lack of self-control I fear is never ending)
Controlling, confusing what is real.

See? Boring drivel!

Ah this guy is awesome.

March 23, 2010 by

Rising Star Games the people that publish a crap load of Japanese games for Europe, recently sat down with legend Suda 51 with questions posed by viewers of their site.

Gotta love Rising Star Games confirming the delay of the game’s launch at the end of video by stating “Coming This May” rather then confirming it when everyone else pretty much knew. Also gotta love the sample of Travis Touchdown they used, dunno if it’s some sort of coincidence or some humorous irony.

My (pointless) God of War 3 Experiment.

March 20, 2010 by

So my PS3 is an old 40GB model and I’ve noticed that when playing certain games, the fan will go mental and make crap loads of noise. This doesn’t happen to begin with but after a while of gameplay. So I thought I’d film my PS3 whilst I played God of War 3 for the first time to see how long it would take before my PS3 went into hyper mode.

It actually took some time, I filmed about 10 minutes of myself setting the game up and watching the intro whilst commentating on stuff as well, in the second vid there’s actually gameplay….and more commentary.

Final Final…Final Fantasy

March 11, 2010 by

I once loved the Final Fantasy series like a family member. A family member who I saw every couple of years and who provided me with hours upon hours of fun. I now liken the series to an ageing family member who is trying new “cool” things that are failing miserably and who I’m ashamed to say I once loved. I don’t invite them to my house anymore because I’m disappointed in their choices and am worried their presence will sully the good memories I hold so dear.

Yes, I’m being a tad melodramatic. But in a gaming market so distinctly lacking any manner of decent RPG, this betrayal strikes deep. In 1999 I played my first Final Fantasy game.

It was Final Fantasy VIII and it was beautiful. It came at the perfect time for me. I was slowly starting to prefer PC games because they had a more diverse spread of genres and I wanted to think strategically in games….not just jump on mushrooms and head butt bricks. Baldur’s Gate had come and gone and it had a ridiculous impact. A rich storyline, memorable characters and a battle system so deep most of its inner nerd filled workings were hidden from the player. I didn’t believe such a feat could be achieved on a system reserved for beat ‘em ups and platform titles. By this time I’d heard of Final Fantasy VII but hadn’t played it for any extensive period. My exact Final Fantasy timeline reads like this.

Final Fantasy VII: Played a handful of times, but didn’t really grab me. I’d felt like I joined the Final Fantasy party half way through and it seemed to suck all the buzz out of it.

Final Fantasy VIII: RPGing heaven. At first complex and daunting, but the most satisfying game to master.

Final Fantasy IX: Less good/memorable but still enjoyable. The last of the series before it jumped solely to ps2.

Final Fantasy X: Horrifically linear in parts with a horrible sub game (WTF was blitzball??) But a beautiful and engaging story nonetheless.

Final Fantasy XI: Online version of the series. Trying to install this on my PC somehow bugged my system to fuckery. Little did I know this marked the beginning of the end.

Final Fantasy XII: Abandonment of my much loved turn based battle system. I played through for a good 6-8 hours before realizing that I paid money for and was playing an actual piece of shit in disc form.

Final Fantasy XII-2: Words can’t express how much of a travesty this game was. Well they can but I don’t want to spend the rest of the blog swearing.


So this brings us to Final Fantasy XIII, which released a couple of days ago.

In regards this series I’m on a precipice. Half of what I’ve played I’ve loved and half of what I’ve played I’ve hated with a passion. I realize I’m counting out Final Fantasy tactics (which I did enjoy) but my bias towards handheld games means I can’t count it within bigger titles. Final Fantasy XIII is the decider for me and considering below average reviews my hopes aren’t high. The nostalgic part of me is holding onto the shred of hope that my long forgotten family member can pull it out of the bag…and be entertaining once more.

Time to oil up!

March 10, 2010 by

Capcom have finally unveiled their final character to join Super Street Fighter IV!

His name is Hakan. He looks rather amusing…like the love child of Blanka, Urien and Zangief.